


Everything In Between

by butterflour



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Break Up, Developing Relationship, Emotions, Eventual Fluff, Feelings Realization, Fluff and Angst, Inspired by Music, Light Angst, M/M, Past Relationship(s), Post-Break Up, i am truly inspired bc melodrama is the greatest album ever made, my attempt at being poetic and its gonna suck so bad, past junshua - Freeform, the greatness that is melodrama, wonhui summer romance omg
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-11
Updated: 2021-02-11
Packaged: 2021-03-17 05:40:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,761
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29345265
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/butterflour/pseuds/butterflour
Summary: Junhui spends his summer fresh from a break-up, dealing with a new guy, tangled up in all of his emotions, and coming in full circle with everyone and everything in between.
Relationships: Jeon Wonwoo/Wen Jun Hui | Jun
Kudos: 11





	Everything In Between

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Green Light](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dMK_npDG12Q)

Glowing shade of mad red looks down on him in the middle of the quiet road and once again, Junhui finds himself waiting for the green light to pop out so he can drive and get out of the evening’s watch and into his friend’s crib. Pictures of a smiling Joshua, sitting in the passenger seat, passes through the hazy red vision in his eyes. He quickly rubs his eyes, wiping away any trace of his ex-boyfriend and smiles bitterly at the car’s side mirror.

Joshua. He was always seated at the back, not beside him, whenever they would go on a drive. Junhui likes to think that’s just how he is, but to be brutally honest with himself, it had always confused him—hurt him even. That certain feeling of having your boyfriend behind you, always behind you and never beside you, burned at the back of his mind, clawing out all the memories and the times they had spent together. It dawns on him how pathetic his old self must’ve felt deep inside. But Joshua loved him, that’s a fact he’s always going to cling to.

Joshua is rather sweet with him. Always confiding in his childish ways. Always giving him the attention he so desperately craved every waking hour. Always had reassured him with his careful and calculated _yes, I love you so much_ and _no, I won’t leave you, only a fool would do that._

Funny how Junhui feels like the fool now, the only fool who believed foolish words, sugar coated words from the doe-eyed guy who had always gazed at him with profound adoration whenever he wanted to be seen. Junhui laughs and frowns after. Joshua loved him, he mumbles to himself. Joshua loved him, he did. Or maybe he still does? Joshua loved and loved and loved and Joshua broke up with him.

Like how the distasteful truth he knows and has always pushed back comes crashing down before his glassy eyes, the green light appears. The highway is quiet much like the inside of his vehicle, propelling him against the stale concrete leading to Mingyu’s party. He takes one last look at the empty driveway. He releases a cold, shaky breath before revving up the car. He drives off.

Strobing lights of various deep shades of blue welcomes him ahead of the whole ride. Junhui decides it’s time to stop moping in the silent atmosphere of his car. He turns the volume of the speakers up, a steady pounding beat envelopes his ears, dancing inside his eardrums. The upbeat pop music pokes at his stiff position, he feels his body softly bouncing in his seat as the song ascends. The little sway of his hips make his hands grip the steering wheel tighter. He feels hot and almost about to combust—the whole experience is cathartic, pushing his energy towards a place his body would never go to.

He’s moving to nothing and yet it’s everything. He imagines himself atop his car, waving his hands in the air. He’s allowing the cool, midnight wind to touch him and caress his whole body. His feet kicking into the open area around him, free and nothing but free. His whole body grooves as the faint beat grows louder until it’s beating inside his heart. His moves and the music don’t match, but it’s fine—that’s what it is anyway, a passing circumstance.

Junhui separates the experience with dancing, one of his favored hobbies. In dancing, your body moves and sways with the beat in calculated, choreographed moves. There are counts, specific strokes, deliberate steps, vital gestures, and a planned motion in which you turn your whole mind to—in order to convey nonverbal cues and expressions.

His relationship with Joshua was just like that. A dance. Except, the zazz and all the jazz had blinded him to the fact that it was a turbulent dance sequence. If given leeway to orchestrate his own feelings, the whole experience would’ve been a perfect ballet. But Junhui never had that satisfaction, or that privilege. Sure, Joshua was perfect. He was the usual guy you would find on romantic books or hear in classic love songs. He was the saving grace in Junhui’s already stellar world. He was like the second coming of Jesus Christ Superstar, decent and divine.

Their relationship ushered Junhui in this complete dreamland. Higher than any conceptual figure of a city he had always walked in his dreams. Breaking him off his comfort zone and letting him walk on soft, plush clouds. It made him happy. Their relationship graced the world in its form, transformative and growing. It was what writers called a certain thing—a utopia. But he learned that even the most law-abiding citizens cannot be guaranteed this utopia.

Because Joshua became a concept, not a person. Not his lover. And when everything came rushing up to them—the expectations, the dull mornings, the lonely nights, the mess meshed with the heartbreaking truth, that young love will end because it has to—it was too far for Junhui to turn back and be the savior to everything they had built together. The whole thing hinged on one person leading the steps, not two people working their way into a waltz.

The music stops and Junhui pushes the brake pedal, making the car halt in the middle of the road. He’s taken aback by the force, his heart almost jumping out of his ribcage. He looks outside, searching for other people or other cars driving nearby. But he finds the road is empty. He releases a deep sigh and relaxes. He peers up and sees a stoplight. He observes his position and smacks himself for stopping at an intersection. The last minute could’ve been fatal, but he’s thankful for his luck and the still highway.

He secures his place, fastening his seatbelt a little too tight. He checks the time and upon seeing it’s almost 10 PM, he conditions his body and the car. He waits for the stoplight to turn green so he can drive away again. Just before it does, for a split second, the image of a smiling Joshua materializes in front of him before dissipating, replaced by the green hue.

He drives off again.

Mingyu’s place is packed with sweaty bodies circling around the tiny living room space, falling in sync with the booming sound of the speakers. Junhui searches the place for any familiar face to keep him company. He spots Mingyu’s huge figure, mixing the alcohol laid out in front of him. He’s about to walk towards his friend but he stopped just before his right leg could take a step.

Joshua.

His heart started beating fast and hard. So hard that he stumbled into a person walking around the area where he’s standing. The other guy has his hands fixing his eyeglass in seconds after wobbling from where he stood. Junhui reaches his hands out to help steady the guy. In the corner of his eyes he can feel Joshua’s gaze, his ex-boyfriend staring at him. He couldn’t make out Joshua’s entire face though because he’s busy fumbling his hands fakely in front of the guy he just bumped into.

Speaking of the guy, he has finished doing his entire thing which Junhui thought wasn’t very typical. After fixing his eyeglass, he dusted off his jacket, combed his hair with his hand, and finally looked at him.

And Junhui just stared at this guy’s eyes.

He swears it’s not him making an effort to avoid Joshua’s gaze or even extinguish his ex-boyfriend’s burning presence, it’s just that, this guy’s eyes reflects something green and Junhui can’t make out if it’s Mingyu’s lights system or the light outside the place, but the reflection is enticing. 

Looking at the other guy’s eyes is like searching the sky for the moon in the midst of a cloudy night.

“Are you alright?”

The question comes, pulling him back from his reverie. He takes one step back and looks around to see no Joshua staring at him. He sighs and relaxes and remembers the guy in front of him.

“Yeah, I’m fine.”

The guy smiles and extends his hands.

“Sorry, I wasn’t looking my way. I’m Wonwoo.”

Junhui shakes the extended hand, noticing how rough the palm is. Biting back its sting, he quickly pulls his hand back.

Just then, the music abruptly stops and is replaced by a messy beat, drums banging and guitar strings all over the air, bombarding his poor eardrums.

Junhui flinches at the sound and feels his hand being tugged at. It’s Wonwoo.

“Hey, wanna drink there? It’s more quiet.” 

Junhui scans the space Wonwoo had pointed at. He nods because why the hell not? Joshua isn’t there and he’d rather be in the company of a complete stranger than fake his entire demeanor in front of Joshua. Besides he’s not really a fan—

“I’m not really a fan of this song,” Wonwoo mutters, nose scrunching.

_ Oh. _

_ Well, fuck. _

“Come on.”

And off Wonwoo walks.

Junhui could only follow and look at his figure in silence. It’s too early for everything, he mentally reminds himself. But he’s so desperate to escape the whole post break-up process and he needs someone who can understand his unruly emotions, hopefully Wonwoo will. But at the back of his mind there’s an idea. An idea that he really needs to let go first. 

The days after Joshua broke up with him, Junhui’s experience along with the personal dilemmas he had to deal with growing up in his family taught him something.

It's about one of the few attributes of love—availability. 

That when a heart is left by another, one will find a way to fill the space left behind.

But what was kept from his wandering mind—buried too deep inside an empty kitchen, etched in a paper with words written boldly in a fit of bitter haste, and clothes left inside a drawer, unmoving and unbecoming—was the unsettling truth.

That, yes, to be released from the binding shackles of an outgrown lover is to be free, but the pure, undiluted connection made, limits that very availability.

What Junhui doesn’t know though may surprise him. It might even lift him up, or make him fall even harder.

A heart who’s miserably stuck in a highway of tangled emotions, exhausted with a prosaic break up, and wanting to drive off, is finally ready to go. And the stoplight that beats with flaring red, has finally turned into a needing green.


End file.
